MSN/AIM

I've decided to add MSN to my list of Instant messenger's.

MSN: feroxfemina@live.com
AIM: Rawriiicious

And those who have my Blackberry number already have it. Please feel free to add me to MSN! :)

Raegan pics!

Prepare to have your heart strings tugged at, and have your ovaries twitch, ladies.

Welcome to the world, Raegan.

My very good friends Karla and Jason welcomed their little girl Raegan into the world at 10:55pm, last night. She weighs 7lbs9oz, and is 20.5 inches long, with a headful of semi-curly dark hair. She has the most perfect little face, and such a pair of lungs on her.

Thank you two for letting me be part of something so beautiful.

I'll be heading back up to the hospital today to snap some pics as the ones I got last night were a bit fuzzy b/c the room was dark. Raegan is just pure love. She's tiny perfection. I'm in love, and I KNOW both her parents are!

In other news, sorry about half a month of not-blogging. I didn't feel up to it.

With Karla and Jason's permission, I'll post pics of Raegan later.

Marissa turned one on the 1st, and although we didn't do much besides have spaghetti and cake, and then let her open her present. It was fun. Pictures later today after I visit the new parents!

Getting quirkier.

My blogging has slowed down majorly the past few days. I'm sorry. I'm mostly in withdrawal mode from friends and family. Some of who can't seem to handle it and I've lost connection with them. Oh well, I guess it really just boils down to if I have Kenny and the kids. The rest are veng fodder. (Gamers may get the reference.)

Right now, with Dylan, we're doing minor monthly visits with the ECI. We're playing a "look and see" type of thing, I suppose. While he has SOME traits of Autism, he lacks the rest. We're most likely looking at PPD-NOS.

His habits are getting quirkier. If there's TWO of exactly the same thing, he MUST have a certain one, even when we (as adults) can't tell the difference, apparently he can. His food must be arranged a certain way, and on a certain plate. Like right now, he had to have cereal in a BIG bowl. His food habits are getting rougher. He whines about everything we eat.

When riding in a vehicle he MUST be on the passenger side. He flips out if we attempt to put him on the driver's side. He has suddenly developed a fear of water. He now hates bath time, something he used to love.

Sometimes I feel so lost with him. Like I'm a little speck in his big old world of a nearly 3 year old. I'm his mom, I'm supposed to show him which way to go but all I feel like I can do is allow him to lead.

It's really unsettling.

I haven't taken any pictures lately, but I will soon. I've been tired and stressed, and not in the mood for much creativity.

If you can please say a prayer for Nate, his wife Tricia, and little Gwyneth. I have their blog linked in my list.

SYTYCD4

Here are my two faves:

The Countdown begins!

M good friend Karla is 37 weeks today. She was there for the birth of Dylan, and I'm going to be there for the birth of her daughter, Reagan. I'm so excited I can't stand it.

I threw a breastfeeding basket together for her for her baby-shower, and have a little hospital bag ready for her, too. I think I'm going to get a board game for her, as well. Karla was so brave standing at the foot of the bed when Dylan was born.

She also took pictures. And while Dylan was in the NICU, Jason and Karla spent so much time with us at the hospital. They made pot roast stew, picked up things for us... everything. They're such amazing friends, and I'm absolutely thrilled for them. Kenny will be tagging along to prove jason with some company.

Believe it or not, Jason was pretty much there for both the birth of Dylan and Marissa. I scared the crap out of him with Dylan, but his resolve must have strengthened because he wasn't the least bit scared while I was in labor with Marissa.

Karla is due July 4th, her doctors seem to think she'll make it to the very day. The anticipation will be killing us all!

City of Villains

Best Spongebob Episode

City of Heroes fun

Yeah, he got Pwned.

Then I got pwned. And teabagged.

HILARIOUS. Need I say more?

Still having internet issues

For about a week now. It'll be fine up until 11am(c) and then it will start cutting out every few minutes. It's ridiculous, and beyond frustrating.

Suddenlink has someone finally coming out here tomorrow. It took me a year of fucking phone calls to get them someone out here. Suddenlink is horrible, and I would not recommend their services. If I could go with someone else, I would.

Spiderman Ripoff

This is Jesteria, a lvl 22 ill/rad troller on Virtue. See the way she's crouching? It screams Spiderman.

A beautiful day.

Well, it was last Sunday. Ignore the dark spot, it was shot through the window.

Problems with internet?

It may be because you have Suddenlink. Damn, our internet goes down a lot!

It didn't help that the CSR sounded like she hated her job, it made me even more irritated. As often as our cable goes out (about 21hrs a week) you think they'd be willing to compensate. Nope.

They said that if the cable goes down you have to call in when it goes down, then call when it comes back up. What about those who have their phone service through them?

Huh?! Thank goodness for my Blackberry.

Sunburn

Poor Dylan. I'm a little irritated with Kenny, right now. It was a little cloudy yesterday, and he had the kids outside as I cleaned. I kept telling him they needed to come in for breaks, and wear sunscreen. We actually bickered over it. He claimed it was cloudy, and therefore they could not get sunburns. I tried telling him that you can get the worst sunburns when it's cloudy.

Anywho, Dylan is really sunburnt, Marissa a little bit, and Natalie just tanned. I have a feeling Dylan will tan, too - I can see he already is. I sprayed some stuff onto it, and did a vinegar/water solution on him. It supposedly helps with the sting.

He hurts, he just can't understand why.

I'm eccentric.

A good in-game friend made me sit back and think on what makes me eccentric. I had brought up the fact that I'm more at ease being the center of attention within a crowd, then I am with being the center of attention, in a one on one type of deal.

He called me eccentric, albeit endearingly so.

It's true, though. Isn't it odd that I'd feel that way?

Some more must knows: I don't like the feel of cotton balls, it makes me grit my teeth. I can totally deal with the banging of pots and pan, nails scratching upon a board, much better than I can deal with the TV being on even remotely loud, or screaming, but yet I like my music loudloudloud.

Pingu's 3rd Anniversary

Last night was the Pingu Coalition's Third Anniversary on Champion (City of Heroes).

I can't believe the turn out. SO many people were there. I was getting tells from (unpingu*) people unbelieving I had come back. It was so neat to talk to these people again. We hald contests, gave away lots of money, IOs, and full sets of purples. I was able to login to vent and hear, but unable to speak as my only mic is broken. I've decided to get a new one today, so I can bug the piss out of my Pingus!

Steve (Chop-Chop) held a contest saying the first person to cyber me gets like 10mil inf. The above is a screen shot of some replies.

*Being an unpingu is a sin. Jus' sayin'.

Singin' the blues.

I haven't posted since Tuesday. My mood has been leaving much to be desired, and it's not necessarily something people want to read about. I'm trying my best not to be bitchy, complain, or whine as there are things I have to be thankful for...

But I just wish something would happen already with this moving/job deal. I'm hanging onto a cliff everyday over this, wondering, "Will today be the day they call?" And I honestly feel like I no longer have the strength to do that.

Yet, I can't help but worry.

I've started playing CoX (City of Heroes/Villians) again to help take up some thinking time hoping that it will keep my mind off things. I miss playing video games.

I'm really on edge, and have managed to piss my mother off, scream at my kids, and have Dad frustrated with me. I've been calling him more frequently to see if there is any news from ITT.

I wish I could crawl into a hole. I can't seem to do anything right, and I know it's getting bad when I'm getting sad over friends' good fortunes. Don't get me wrong, I'm THRILLED for them but I just wonder when it's going to be our turn.

Fun in the sun

My MIL's neighbor has two kids, 5 and 3, and they came over today to play with Natalie, Dylan, and Marissa.

I set up the two pools, and the kids' slip n' slide. It was a lot of fun, we all enjoyed it.

This is Laci.

Natalie, of course.

Daddy and Roo Berry, as he calls her.

This is Jase.

Sweetheart Dylan.

Finally

The electrician is here and checking things out. Hopefully it's nothing serious, and we will be able to rest peacefully now.

Still no word from ITT, or the other company here in TX, or TWC. It should literally be any day now and the anticipation is absolutely killing me. I'm so tired (literally, as in worn out) of worrying about it and am more than ready.

Have I ever mentioned Texas bugs are killing me? My left foot is TORE up from fire ants, so badly in fact, that I woke up this morning and it was numb. Ouch. I've learned to live with the spiders. It doesn't mean I like them, though.

Here are [a few] pics from our weekend.

Reading [and writing]

I'm currently reading "Twilight" a movie that's due to come out later this year. It's actually more geared to older teens, but I'm still finding it very interesting as I dig paranormal stuff. It's about a vampires and the like.

I also picked up an author called Kresley Cole, who writes romance. The book of her's I picked up is a paranormal one (vampires and other mythical creatures). It was a random choice at Walmart one late night as I was starving for some books. I loved it so much I ordered the rest of the series. It's not your typical romance novel. It's damn good.

There has still been no electrician out to inspect the house, and I'm pretty upset. We got Dylan's haircut at the Woodlands Mall this past weekend and he did so good. He has a faux hawk and it's super cute! I'll get a picture of it soon enough. We also had a picnic at Lake Livingston with my MIL, and well enjoyed ourselves.

I've got some thoughts to share but that's another post later today when I have time to sit down and organize my thoughts. :)

Updates

Nate, Tricia, and GWYNETH are home! That is such great news. Check out his blog to find out more!

We still have not had our electrical stuff inspected, and I'm growing angrier by the second. Our landlady is being awfully careless and she doesn't seem to value her tenants too much. Monday, I'm making a call to someone about this.

This is ridiculous and very upsetting. Tomorrow's plans are to go get Dylan's haircut at a place meant for children. It's in the Woodland's Mall. Natalie is going to a birthday party. Tomorrow should be fun!

Electrical fires and tornadoes!

What a fun 24 hours, my goodness!

You've heard me bitch about the electrical wiring about this house so I'll do my best to make this short, and... well, short. Two out of three of our outlets in our bedroom stopped working. Kenny came come, and checked out those two to find they had no voltage to them.

He then goes to turn the main breaker off, and it pops and sparks at him. Great. BIL's cousin comes over to check things out with Kenny since he has a better idea of electrical wiring, etc. There's an outlet that's located behind our headboard, where Kenny plugs his alarm in. They go to check that outlet and there's burn marks on the wall.

All I could think was, "Oh my god, that could have caught our bed sheets on fire, and our heads!" Not to mention that wall is the wall we share with the girls'. Nice, eh? The landlord has been contacted but she hasn't done jack shit about anything yet. Very unsafe, and very unwise.

Some bad weather rolled in today, too. Caused a couple tornadoes, and I could sense the tornado spawning. It got black, the smell in the air changed, and it went from being very hot, still, and thick to cool. I threw myself, Dylan, and Marissa into a closet with blankets. Natalie is at Aunt Kami's. Everyone is alright and you can't even tell we had a tornado.

But you do get to see the burnt up plugs, yes!

Wind it up!

I sincerely wish that I could just wind myself up every morning. Like a mechanical toy - when you need it to come to life, just crank it a few times and watch it wobble about.

I NEED that. I've been sleeping like crap.

Yesterday Kenny had a job interview and Dylan had another ECI appointment. Kenny left and then came back a short time after. You know my heart was pounding as I saw him approach the door. I eagerly opened it with a "Well?"

He said the guy wasn't even there, yet! He was told to come back in a few hours. Blah!

So the ECI specialist and OT show up, and we decide on what we'd like to work on with Dylan. I chose communication to start, because sometimes that's the root of all evils. You improve that, and you improve a little bit of everything else. It was suggested I get him to the Meyer Testing Center in Houston. This is the place where I can get a OFFICIAL diagnosis of autism. Yet, the wait is 6mos to a year.

Or, I could take him to his ped and see what the ped would like to do.

During the visit Kenny left again, only to come back once more with the guy still not being there! So he took a day off and spent gas, yuck. The guy called later that day and interviewed him over the phone. He offered the job to Kenny, but said he'd back to him on a pay rate b/c of Kenny's skills.

ITT has a position up that Kenny did before he left, so I submit his resume to it and Dad will call Kenny's old boss on Wednesday to tell them to pull it. Hopefully that'll be our answer.

Last night, Kenny lit candles, had some music playing, and gave me a nice backrub among other things. :)

In the middle of the night our power was flickering only in our bedroom. Now two outlets don't work. One of those outlets happen to be our a/c! This house is so... I hate it, that's all.

Happy Mother's Day!

It was nice!

We woke up, made breakfast for my mother in law, and then had a lazy day.

I got some cute pics, which I'll post at the end. :) Tomorrow there's another visit with the ECI peeps, and Kenny has a interview. We're also hoping to hear more from NC tomorrow, too.

I'm very tired, at the moment - so without further due. Pictures! The rest can be seen flickr!

Saturday Night Live!

In the Culley house. :D

It's a late night post, but things are quiet and slow and I've nothing left to do so here I am.

I ordered 2 shoot-thru umbrellas, and 2 double head a/c swivel umbrella holders to be used with my CF Full spectrum light bulbs. In other words: this is for taking photos! We also did some grocery shopping, and picked up Dylan some new sheets and curtains.

What an improvement with his new bedding and stuff. Looks great. Still hate this house, though.

I invited my MIL for breakfast in the morning. I got her a griddle she's been wanting. I realize tomorrow is more her day than mine, I guess it's because she has more motherly years than I. :eyeroll:

I made two boys for Marissa with some ribbon I picked up today. I also picked up a really cute 4th of July outfit, with some matching ribbon! It's going to be so cute!

I picked out a super juicy watermelon, and left a whole slice for Marissa in order to take some cute photos of her tomorrow, with it. I need to get all three of the kids together but unless they've been tranquilized we're going to have a problem achieving that. Ha!

Oh, and we got forced out of our house yesterday. Bees invaded our home at the sliding glass back door. I'm not sure how they were getting in, as the door was locked and closed. Like I said, I hate this house. We had to leave, though - because I'm allergic.

MIL came and picked us up, we went to her house and had lunches and naps, then played on a slip n' slide. It was a really nice day Friday.

CF Husband news!

You all most likely already know, because once you've had one look at his blog, you can't help but go back.

Their story is too uplifting, and too powerful not to!

But I must squeal! Nate and Tricia could very well be bringing Gwyneth home next week, as long as she continues to eat everything from her body! Also, that sweet little baby is 4 months! 4 months, can you believe it?

Heck, I can't even believe I've been reading for this long. I'm so excited for them!

You can check out Nate's blog here.

Woot for Kenny!

He has a job interview down here in Texas on Monday, and also, we have another option now open to us as a Broadband Tech in Charlotte, NC.

Anything's dandy until ITT gets their stuff straightened out and we can get our butts to NC. I'm really hopeful, but I'm trying not to get my hopes too high. It'd be really nice if they offered a good pay rate, and plus it's closer and he wouldn't have to be driving OUR van all over the damned place.

So please, my friends - keep your fingers crossed. And my fans can continue to make their voodoo dolls. I love you, too. (Not really, but you have earned my sympathy!)

The stress is piling on...

...and you wouldn't even know I'm affected by it.

Friends and family are telling me, "You sound okay" or "You're handling it better than I am" but what they don't know is that I worry about it so much.

The stress comes from this supposed move and going back to work for ITT. Yet with the fuck up on their parts that has yet to move anywhere. Also, Kenny's current job which continues to give him the shaft with not reimbursing him for using his vehicle for work purposes (he's driving pretty far) and for some reason he's not getting paid the full amount he should for 40 hours.

That, combined with the gas money to travel for work - it has eaten up our nest egg for moving. We had sold the Jeep, but that's all gone to pay bills and to make ends meet. We're supposed to get this stimulus crap Friday, and that'll be put back to help us move. I just hope it happens soon or we won't be able to!

I'm so stressed, I wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking about it, and am unable to get back to sleep. I think about it. All day long. I find myself praying for one thing to go right. For one thing to work out as it should for us.

I was never one for praying much, but I constantly find myself with a furrowed brow, eyes closed, and hands over my face, just begging for God to please work with us.

We work hard to raise and support our family. We could use some good luck.

Do you hear what I hear?

This is what I hear EVERY day. His whining sessions last about 30mins to sometimes an hour long. I hear it as soon as he wakes up. They are mostly in the morning. Sometimes it's screeching.

Rae and the No Good, Very Bad, Horrible Day (Chpt 2)

This day has been absolutely horrible so far. It's only 11am, too! So you know what that means - it's going to get worse. It begins with me being up all night with a upset tummy, and a nursing Marissa.

Who in turns wakes up at 5:30am to nurse again, and pretty much stays awake whining until 7am until I nurse her again, and then attempt to put her back down. Nope. More whining/crying. So I let her fuss, make myself some breakfast, grab her and get settled. She nurses herself to a dead sleep. I know she's tired. Dylan wakes up, so off I go (gently, mind you) to lay a sleeping beauty down.

And she wakes up. I attempt to let her fuss some more. I get Dylan up, and start to fix him breakfast, which he whines about, as usual. This little boy is (and I say this seriously without dramatics) one of the whiniest children I have ever met.

About this time I get news that the job w/ ITT Systems in Fort Bragg, NC is on hold because of some fuckwad's screw up. Marissa is still whining so I get her up, and manage to distract her with some toys, and get Dylan cleaned up.

I sit down for a [what I thought were a] few quiet minutes to myself. I don't hear Dylan and Marissa whining so I figure, Hey! They're okay. Wrong. I get up to check on them and Dylan had found a [again, what I thought] was an empty Christmas cookie tin. There were old gingerbread cookies w/ icing in it and he had managed to open it. Marissa was sitting in a pile of cookies, like she was the Queen of Sugarplum Fairies. Needless to say, she wasn't very happy when I yanked cookies out of her hand and swept them up.

I run bath water, and strip her down. She pees. Can you hear me screaming yet? Soon I won't have the voice left to scream due to this morning's frustration. I plop her down in the bathtub, and get Dylan cleaned up. I turn to get a towel and Dylan throws a stuffed teddy bear in the bath tub and then wraps it up in a towel. Oi!

I begin to wash Marissa and, hey - what's that smell? It smells like bathroom cleaner! Oh, crap! Last night I had sprayed bathtub cleaner in the tub and never rinsed it.

If Marissa were chrome she'd be shinyyyyy. I drain the water and run some fresh, rinsing Marissa really well.

SIL brings Natalie home, and the fighting between Natalie and Dylan begin. I'm NOT in the mood for this, so I'm yelling at them, already. SIL brought the little boy she watches with her (he's 7mos). I attempt to get Marissa dry and dressed, who's screeching at me, letting me know her displeasure the entire time.

All three kids have runny, disgusting noses. I may use the thick snot as a glue trap.
SIL comments that she doesn't know how I do it.

Even on my best days I don't know how I do it, either. I just do it.

The RBI visit

Well, our ECI Specialist said I gave her a ton of info, and it was really good. She says she has trouble with a lot of parents not providing ENOUGH information.

Just a reminder, an RBI is where they interview me on his day, from waking up to bedtime. Then they ask me to rate simple activities during our day, and if I'd like to see improvement in those areas.

Next week the Occupational Therapist comes again with our ECI Specialist, and they hang out with Dylan again, and we map out our plan.

Last night Kenny and I were at each other's throat. He was biting my head off and riding my ass for no reason. I mean, he was really yelling at me. I was so confused.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked him. He said he had a migraine, and was just trying to deal with it so he could help me out. I rushed him off to our bedroom. He was incapable to help me in his state. It was pretty bad.

He made up for his asinine behavior with some Cinnamon Crunch bagels from Panera bread. Yum! I do love the man, and he knows my weaknesses.

Right now, with Dylan whining and Kenny getting frustrated with him I can barely think. Sigh.

I told the ECI Specialist I'd like to improve my time spent with Dylan, like the times in between meals, you know? And our "hanging out as a family time". I just think there's so much more we can be doing. They'll give me tools and tips on how to utilize all of this.

I want to write more, especially just to spill my thoughts and vents but I feel a headache coming on.

A ton of pics, as promised.

And this is only SOME of what I took. :) I also entered a project called 365days on flickr. I have to take a self portrait everyday for the next year. I hope I can stick to it, and I'm also hoping it'll inspire more creativity!

Expect pictures tomorrow!

For reference, this was posted late Sunday night.

We've had a busybusy weekend with my father-in-law in town, so I haven't had a moment's chance to play catch up. I took lotsa pics so I promise those to you tomorrow morning.

The Evaluation Specialist comes again tomorrow to do an RBI, and to lay out or goal plan for sweet Dylan.

Unsure

DS stayed the night with MIL last night, he adores her and goes over there quite a bit.

They brought him home early this am. MIL said last night he was running a fever (ok, you live literally not even a mile down the road, you should have brought him home).

So she crushed up some Tylenol and put it in his juice. Adult Tylenol. She said it was about an 8th. I'm really uncomfortable with the fact that she did this, because it's dangerous. I know it would take so much for a child to OD or poison themselves off Tylenol... but if she was concerned she should have brought him home!

I thought things like this were kinda common sense? I really do not appreciate the fact she medicated my son without contacting me, first.

I know I should have packed Tylenol, but he was feeling fine before he went over, and she lives 2 seconds down the road. She said she was worried. Really? Then perhaps you should have brought him home, then.

So it's meez!

Only boring people get bored.

I don't know if there's any truth to that statement, but damn I'm bored right now.

Laundry is going, house work is done, kids are napping - so there's not much for me to do. It's cloudy off and on or I'd be outside laying out and trying to get some color, but the weather is not permitting.

I have learned a few new things about myself, that I -gasp!- never knew. Apparently, I'm a bitch, I'm a bully, I'm whiny, I'm annoying, and I'm fake.

I can take whiny. Especially lately, I've been dealing with some pretty hardcore shit. I mean, facing the possibility of autism can shake anyone's world a bit.

But the others, oh - the poor soul who said that to me has no idea I'm laughing uproariously at her. I found it all quite funny. If it had been a irl situation, I would have been making faces, much like an 8 year old would do when they're being given a stern talking-to. Or at least stifling laughter and trying to keep a straight face! I'm immature like that. I'll admit that one, too.

Spinning off from the above - isn't it funny how the internet can give someone the freedom to act out like they'd never do irl? I mean, people suddenly have e-balls! I can't honestly see some of these people walking around talking/acting the way they do online, because let's face it - you'd probably get the shit stomped out of you.

I'm not condoning violence at all, but some people have no qualms about using it, especially when they've gotten someone in their face yapping like a high-strung poodle who pisses itself every time it gets overly excited.

Or! Those who come online to find sexual experiences they'd never dare to seek within real life.

Do you think the internet gives one freedom to do as they please, or provides a place to don a fake persona and act like something they would never dare to in real life?

Why do people waste their breath online? I mean, really - what did the above person seek to do by saying those things to me? Can they honestly think I give a rat's ass about their opinion of me?

Someone who I have never met, and never will meet. Who will never have any long-lasting impression upon my life. They are of no significance to me.

It just goes to show, how much people give a fuck about others who don't give two shits about them. I don't get it. Why?

The moral of the story is this: I know many of you deal with the same thing. I'm using my example to express my feelings about these situations. It's not that important. Don't waste your time, as they are doing by spewing ignorant bullshit that goes in one ear and out the other.

It's only a bunch of keystrokes, after all.

Waiting game...

I'm waiting for the kids to fall asleep for their nap so I can go relax in the sun for a little bit. I've got my mp3 player, suntan lotion, Blackberry, water, lounge chair, and towel ready to go.

Then when they get up - we get in their play pool! :)

Don't forget CF Husband

Just reminding everyone to keep reading this powerful journey.

Nate's blog can be found here.

Winning the war!

With the fruit flies, that is!

I'm pretty sure (and very hopeful) that I have won.

Before I used to keep my fruit (like apples, tangerines, bananas) out. Well, for some reason we had a really bad influx of fruit flies. I was desperate to get rid of them. I created several traps (made from baby food jars and vinegar, and one w/ a plastic cup, saran wrap, and ripe banana). It seemed like there was no end to them.

I became so obsessive I would stand there with a fly swatter or spray, and just attack, attack, attack! I bleached my countertops and table daily, and began keeping fruit in the fridge. I also bleached my sinks nightly.

Then, when it seemed like they were at their worst - I burned incense in two places where they were the worst, and two days later, they are gone.

I'm not sure if I can contribute it to the incense, or if it was my determination to get rid of them. I bleached my garbage can, dishes were immediately washed and dried, and put away. I sprayed Lysol all over the place.

Many of my friends who have visited my home make comments on how clean it is, and they wonder how I do it with 3 kids, and Kenny. :P It's not easy, but I CANNOT STAND filth.

If you thought my house was clean before, you should see it now. It's insane. I could lick my countertops.

So, take that you nasty ass fruit flies!

Flower power

Farmer Dylan

Meeko!

Kitties like flowers, too.

Before:

After!

Bug's lunch

Blackberry

Crushcrushcrush